Hi guys, I woke up feeling a bit sore this morning after some demolition work yesterday. We're getting back to renovations in the house, I'm looking forward to it. Today will be a good day.
Welcome to the ninth round of Secret Sunday, a chance to share secrets and/or fantasies you've been keeping to yourself. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking and some are just plain naughty.
All are valid.
Here's how it works:
1) This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from regular follower to casual visitor.
2) I don't plan to censor content or language. However I do reserve the right not to post anything which appears to be submitted with the sole intent of offending. I also reserve the right to include submissions that may be considered controversial. It's a fine line sometimes.
3) I'd like everyone to please refrain from negatively commenting on what someone else has written; what may seem trivial to you can be very personal to someone else. Everyone has feelings and I want to see them respected, therefore I won't be posting inappropriate comments.
4) If this is something you'd like to run on your blog please feel free. You may copy the rules if you wish.
And now to it...
Everyone keeps telling me how awful it was that I lost my phone and deleted my social networks. How impossibly hard it is to get a hold of me…
ReplyDeleteSecretly I cannot get enough of being hidden. It is deliciously mischievous and leaves me feeling empowered. To a point where I feel a little drunk. Outlandish, even. I can't get enough. It is all consuming. To know that no one can pin me down and take control. He can’t make me melt, blush, tend to his rule. I knew how he liked it. She can’t force her moral will on me. I knew her grasp on reality was too strong for me to handle.
There are no possibilities. No need to plan, it’s spontaneous, fabulous and dramatic. I can walk around. Lock myself away. Cry and laugh, as manically as pleases me to. I can dance at devotion of new found fealty (to no one!) So no one cares, because no one knows. No one hopes. Shit.
Isolation has become my prison and my companion. I would say 'help' but there isn't any point.
And of course I just say 'yes, yes' and go along with the whole charade.
I hope you find solace in knowing that reconnecting is just a phone call away. I think there's an inherent danger in being isolated for too long, but only you can decide when you're ready. I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteI have been blessed with an amazing relationship with a wonderfully kind and caring man, who seems as close to perfection as one can get, yet I am consumed by thoughts of another man from my past, one who never quite understood my value, yet ignited such flames of passion within.
ReplyDeleteI knew I rushed into things, and I knew I needed space, but I also didn't want to lose the opportunity to know such a wonderful soul. I don't wish to be the kind of hurtful and careless woman who thinks of another man when she is with her lover and soul mate. Whatever does one do in such a situation?
I believe the answer to your question lay in the direction you're willing to allow this to lead you. Are you tempted to move beyond thoughts of this man into something more? Has it had an impact on your current relationship?
ReplyDeleteIf so you need to ask yourself what's most important in your life.
You're hung up on a man who obviously stirred intense passion within, yet never seemed to fully appreciate you. Currently you're with a man who is, in your words, wonderfully kind and caring. I see no harm in holding onto the fantasy of the former as long as you devote yourself to the reality of your current relationship and keep things in perspective.
No need to feel guilt over obsessing about someone from your past, most of us have at one time or another.
@barry's comment at 9:35PM
ReplyDelete'no need to feel guilt over obsessing about someone from your past, most of us have at one time or another'
..... AMEN to that!
hope you're feeling better and the renos are going well. :)